Where To Start?

Really? Has it been nearly a year since I updated this thing? How odd. Time moves so differently these days since I had my sweet little boy. Who was really not so sweet today as it's been temper tantrum central around here. One massive meltdown this morning because Steve (formally known as Omar) made him wear a coat and one this evening because I had the audacity to ask him to come down the stairs instead of laying down on the landing.

I've decided to drop the pseudonyms. I was trying to protect the guilty, but whatever. I don't have the energy any more to try and be clever. I'm a working mom with three full-time jobs: mom, wife, corporate slave. Actually, I can't complain. My job's going really well right now and I'm doing well at it. I don't feel quite as hopeless about job advancement as I did a year ago and I know I'm doing good work.

Thomas - or Super Toddler as I refer to him on Facebook - is pretty much the awesomest thing ever. Temper tantrums and all he's still totally the best. He has such a sweet, sunny disposition and he plays so well with other kids. He's gotten into some awful habits about food - as in he refuses to eat the dinner put in from of him - but I'm hoping that once my kitchen is put back together I'll be able to get him back on track.

I am currently in kitchen renovation hell. We started over a month ago and it's still not fucking done. I can't even talk about it, I'm so incensed. Our contractor, who came so highly recommended from IKEA, is AWFUL. As soon as he's done, I'm writing a negative review on yelp or whatever I can of him. AWFUL. I've had my appliances for a week, but I can't use them because I still don't have a faucet or a water line to my fridge for my new ice maker. It's been one nightmare delay after another and I can't even talk about how much I hate them. But my new kitchen is fabulous. It is going to be beautiful once I get it all set up again. If that day ever comes.

Thomas is 2 now and he is smart, observant, tall, and the most wonderful thing I have ever done. I don't know how I got so lucky. He's not perfect - his Elmo obsession leaves me with a headache most days - but he's so much fun. I can't get enough of spending time with him. We play trucks and trains and we read books and play outside and he has such a sweet little laugh when I tickle him. He loves lawnmowers and vacuum cleaners and hockey. Except for the Elmo thing, I can't think of one thing I don't love to do with him.

My beloved Red Sox collapsed so spectacularly in September that I can't even stand to talk about it. Terry Francona is gone, Theo Epstein is gone, but John EFFING Lackey is still here (so far). They were so awful this September I couldn't bring myself to sit through a full game. It was just painful. Now with the allegations of drinking and lack of training and the general clubhouse shenanigans I feel sick about them. It makes me angry to see how a team with so much talent fell apart so completely. I will never give up on them, of course, but I think I need a break from them. Steve got me into hockey last year, so we've been watching the Bruins.

Hopefully, I'll be able to update more. I've decided to put myself through the hell that's NaNoWriMo, so we'll see how that goes.

Dinner for Three

Eva came down for dinner tonight. Wished she could have stayed longer, but we had a nice meal at John Harvard's where not one, but two waitstaff members stopped by our table to say hi to us. We seriously go there waaay too much.

It was nice to catch up with her. She's back living up north and she hates it. She cut her hair and it looks adorable. Makes me wish I was brave enough to chop a few inches off, but my hair comes just below my shoulders and I'm too chicken to cut any more off. After I got married, I didn't cut it for like two years so it was almost to my waist when I started working at John Hancock. It was stick straight with no style and no shape. I used to twist it up into a french twist every day for work, jab it with a few pins and wear it like that because I hated how lank it looked. When I went to get it cut, she cut off like six inches or so. She layered it and it looks cute, but I used to love how sophisticated that twist looked and it's harder to do with layers because some of them don't stay in. I need half a bottle of hair spray and twice the number of pins to keep it up, even though my hair is shorter now.

Omar is doing laundry for me tonight, which is awesome because I need clean clothes and I hate doing laundry. I also found one of my candles to light today because the kitchen smelled like a sewer from the trash can. But the candle doesn't really smell like much. Oh well. At least I found one of them. I think I'm going to have to break down and actually unpack this weekend.

The Raging Bitch Returns

What is it with me lately? Last night I picked a fight with Omar and this morning I had one with Baby Sis while we were waiting for the train together. I swear to God.

I actually have a theory about this and it's not that off the wall. The way I figure it, when I worked in retail, this was the time of year I used to start to get really tense. Holiday hiring was usually awful and we were starting to get pressure on visuals and that sort of thing. Plus, you're gearing up for year end and you have to make up all the sales dollars you'd lost during the "regular" part of the year (there is no "regular" part of the year in retail, every season has its own hell). I truly think my internal clock remembers what time of year it is and how tense and uptight I used to be from now until February and it's manifesting itself even years later. It's a more complicated explanation than "my doctor put me on mild fertility drugs and now I'm fucked up" but I think it's also true. This was the time of year I used to hate most, going into holiday season.

Anyway, I'm trying to keep my shit together because work has suddenly gone mad. I think the director of my division has finally had it with the call center borrowing me and my teammates because we've been told we're off limits to the call center at least until January. My team just took on two huge projects, one of which absolutely positively no buts about it must be completed by year end (which means it probably won't get done til February because we're working on both projects on our own time since we still have our regular every day work to do). I stayed assigned to the GMWB Reset Projection (such a bitch but it's at least predictable. I know exactly what needs to be done, what fits the criteria, and how to write the adjustment up), but four other people from my team were moved from GMWB to the Death Benefit ReReg project and that's a whole other thing. Those adjustments can take days to process due to the fact you have to build a whole contract off it. I'm so relieved that one's not mine. The GMWB project is complicated enough. My deadline is technically year end, but that's only because of the tax implications if we go over it. The DB ReReg project has other issues that make it imperative it be completed before year end.

So yet another Saturday I will be spending at my desk. Making fantastic overtime, yes, buying new furniture, no. Plus, Eva's coming down from Maine Saturday night to hang out. Which means I have to figure out how to work the futon in the guest room.

Unpacked most of the boxes of books this weekend and it was like finding old friends. It's pathetic to be that excited about finding a book you haven't read in over six months because it's been packed in a box. I swear, I could start my own lending library with all the books I've got here.

Omar is watching his stupid fighting show downstairs and Baby Sis is procrastinating a paper in her bedroom. I'm supposed to be working on my NaNoWriMo piece, but I'm easily distracted by shiny objects. Like writing this instead.

While I was unpacking my books, I found my journal from high school/college, which details the beginnings of my relationship with Omar. Good Lord, was I swoony over that boy. Still am, if you want to be honest about it. As I was reading some of the entries, I was remembering some of the things I was writing about and I can't believe how long it's been since I scribbled all those things down to paper. If someone had told me that girl in that journal would turn out to be me, I would have laughed and laughed because me? I'm boring. Certainly not what that girl thought she'd be. But on other hand, I don't think that girl turned out so badly. So whatever, younger me. Maybe I'm not exciting like you thought I was going to be, but I sure as hell won't complain about where I ended up. I married Omar, after all, and we have a pretty good life.

Except for these goddamn mood swings.

Womb Watch - The Beginning

I'd love to know how my vagina become the center of attention in my house. Everyone, it appears, is completely obsessed with it.

I've never made a secret of the fact that I want children and that my period sucks. But in order to have children I need to get a period, which I haven't had since February. At first I was concerned the progesterone wasn't working. Oh, it's working. I have been having a full out screaming it sucks awful bad period with a nasty set of cramps to match. So far I'm on day three of it and I want someone to pay for this.

Sunday I start the Clomid.

This has been a somewhat humiliating process because I made the mistake of discussing this with my mother and she's obsessed with it. Not to mention that every day after I started the progesterone someone would inevitably ask me if I had gotten my period yet. Everyone has been eagerly anticipating and excited for me to bleed. It is beyond creepy that this many people are that interested in my menstrual cycle.

So in another month and a half or so I'll know. I'll either be knocked up or drunk. I'd prefer to be pregnant so I don't have to keep doing this every month (hormones blow!). And I know if I get my period in a month I will drown myself in alcohol. There won't be any other option.

Other goings on that have made this stressful? No heat and no hot water for the last 24-48 hours because a motor kicked on our furnace. Yesterday Omar called the oil company because we had no hot water. We got home from dinner out last night and discovered that no only did we still not have hot water, we didn't have heat. And the oil company didn't pick up the emergency line and it was actually below freezing last night. Ever shower in an ice cold house with ice cold water? Sucks.

Sucks almost as much as everyone waiting for you to bleed.

Closing Time

Today, I think I signed my name more than I ever have or ever will sign it for the rest of my life.

Today, Omar and I bought our first house.

It almost seemed somewhat anticlimactic. We went in, signed about fifty thousand pieces of paper, got the keys from the seller, and left. We had a late lunch at Uno's of all places, walked around a bunch of stores, went to Home Depot and got more of an education on washers and dryers than I ever thought I would have, had a late dinner at PF Chang's and came back to the Hellmouth to watch the Patriots.

We met our next door neighbors, who were home today because it was their oldest son's first day of kindergarten. They seem nice and apparently we are the talk of the neighborhood. Which is disconcerting. I never perform well to strangers. Even if Mr. Darcy said it first, it doesn't mean it's not true. So I'm pretty sure that people will be dropping by to see us, which is nice, but I loathe small talk. It's not how I'm built. And, God love Omar, he's even worse at it than I am.

One small mar on the day. We knew the seller worked at the Lowe's near the neighborhood, but we didn't realize when we went in there to pick up paint sample tonight that he'd be working today. He got a little choked up talking about the neighborhood and Omar freaked out, completely unable to now go into the paint department and pick up samples. So we left, but I told him that he's going to need to get over it, that if the guy has seller's remorse that's simply not our problem. We can't leave the house like a shrine to this guy and his family just because Omar feels badly for him that the seller has mixed feelings. I am going to rip up that kitchen (eventually), I am going to redo those bathrooms (someday) and I damn well going to take that hideous wallpaper off and paint the walls (this weekend). Omar's going to have to get over it. Although I do think that Home Depot has better prices and that's where we're most likely going to end up buying most of our stuff anyway.

I know how I would feel if my parents sold their house and then I came by and saw the new owners had torn up the yard or redone the house in a way that was unfamiliar. I would feel sad, but on the other hand I would understand that just because my family loved the house the way it was doesn't mean that the other people didn't like it; they just wanted to make it their own. And I think that that's how we have to look at it. If we go in to buy paint and he asks what changes we're making, I told Omar to tell him that we're making minor cosmetic changes. He doesn't need to know we're talking about chopping down trees or ripping up the kitchen and bathrooms to be completely different.

I can't wait for this weekend because we're going to go over there and really start making it our own. It's going to be a lot of work, but I am so looking forward to building something here that's ours. I know that even though it needs work, it's still going to be ours.

Counting Down

We close on Thursday and I am so ready for this to be over. The mortgage guy called me at work today because we needed to fax him something, but he was beyond rude. Today was actually really busy at work and I couldn't get away from my desk because every time I turned around there was a new work item in my inbox. Anyway, the annoying mortgage broker decided it was okay to be beyond rude. Whatever, 2 more days and I won't have to deal with any of this crap any more. I'll just be in my house, painting and ripping stuff up, and happy.

I know I should be more engaged with the whole presidential campaign thing, especially since this is probably going to be a huge, historic election. I also know that I should really be watching the convention, but I just can't do it. I mean, I'm going to vote and I'm clearly going to vote for Obama. I can just live without the pageantry.

Weddings and Showers and Bdays, Oh My!

This has been one fucking ridiculously busy summer. Seriously, I don't think Omar and I have been home a single weekend since we moved to the Hellmouth. We haven't actually.

July 4th weekend: bbq at my parents' house, then one at Omar's parents' house
July 12 weekend: Annual Bastille Day Whiffle Ball tournament
July 19 weekend: wedding
July 25 weekend: Bday party for Omar's mother and best friend, one Saturday, one Sunday

August 2 weekend: visit with Omar's goddaughter's family
August 9 weekend: BBQ on Cape Cod
August 16 weekend: wedding that Friday night, party at a friend's that Saturday night
August 23 weekend: visit to Vermont to see two sets of college friends

August 30th weekend is the first weekend we won't be going anywhere, but it's still not going to be restful. That's the first weekend we can get into the house so that we can start painting and ripping stuff up (that's going to be thrilling!).

September isn't shaping up to be much more settled. Baby showers, birthday parties (one for my own sainted mother), and concerts are taking up most of the weekends (I cannot even start to tell you how excited I am to go see New Kids on the Block in September. If Joey Mac doesn't sing "Please Don't Go Girl" I will fucking sob. I may sob even if he does sing it because I love NKOTB. It is my secret shame how much I love boy bands).

The closing is scheduled for a week from tomorrow and I am so freaking ready for all this to be over. I want to just be in my house and enjoy things. I want to cook in a kitchen that's bigger than a goddamn postage stamp. I want to be in a house that's mine, where I can spill things without freaking out about my security deposit.

Can I also just mention how Omar's love for Family Guy is going to drive me to distraction? He bitches about how much I watch Law and Order:CI but he watches almost as much of Family Guy as I do of L&O:CI.

Speaking of which, Vincent D'Onofrio is still my new favorite actor. And I also think that they're bringing Nicole Wallace back for the season finale next week. I thought Chris Noth's last episode was lame; he got a better send off from the mothership show. Also, Julianne Nicholson needs a better hair style. I worry, though, that they're going to break up Goren and Eames; I don't think that's going to work for me. They have a really great chemistry and a really great rhythm.

I don't know how I'm going to work the whole fall tv season. Clearly, I'm going back to Chuck, Heroes, and Bones. I wanted to watch Fringe because I love me some JJ Abrams, but I don't know what else I want. I'm going to have to pass on Pushing Daisies this fall, no matter how much I love it, simply because it's on opposite Bones.

One more week and I'll own my house!!

What A Week!

The home inspection revealed termites. But it's okay! Really. They have not done any structural damage to the house and the owner is footing the bill to put a system in place to prevent them from coming back. We will also get a service contract that has the exterminator coming out four times a year to spray for them and it won't cost much (it'll cost less than what the seller is paying to put the initial system in, that's for sure).

So the house is good to go and I am psyched.

Ran into Baby Sis this morning in South Station. How freaking weird is that? I'm walking along and there's this girl walking ahead of me and I'm thinking, "I know that red ponytail." I yelled out to her and lo and behold, there was Baby Sis! It was a really great way to start the day, spending even five minutes with her while we walked down to the red and silver lines together.

Manny Ramirez has left the Red Sox and I don't know how I feel about that. On the one hand, I will miss his quirky ways (taking a pee break in the Wall, losing track of the outs, high fiving fans in the outfield). I will certainly miss his awesome bat and the way he and Ortiz kicked ass together. However, I will not miss him quitting in the middle of a penant race nor I will miss his attitude about management. He gets paid ridiculous money to chase a ball in left field and to make contact at the plate. He clearly loves his job. Shut up and be grateful they're willing to pay you for that.

Omar got us tickets for Sunday's game; we're going with his parents because they were a birthday gift to his mom. So I'm psyched because I haven't been to a game all season. But I'm also bummed because I used to love to watch Manny bat. Now he's a Dodger. Well, good on him. He can bitch with Nomar about how much the Red Sox suck.

Purchase and sale takes place Tuesday and the closing is on Aug 28. I can't believe I'm about to own property!

I Have Seen the Real Estate Market And I Have Kicked Its ASS

Last night, Omar and I put an offer on a house.

Tonight, we heard back that we got it.

The relief is palpable. I think giddy might be an understatement. It's a split built into 1966 with hideous decor that's clearly going to be redone, but it's cheap, in a great neighborhood, and in the town we wanted. It's not anywhere near as nice as the house we lost, but it's got so much potential and it's perfect for us right now. We got all the appliances included and we got the house for $20K less than the selling price.

It needs a new roof, but we knew that going in so it's not going to be a surprise once the home inspection is done.

This is the most nerve wracking, exhausting thing I have ever done and it's over and I am so relieved and so excited. I always have to pee when I get nervous and I literally spent half my day in the ladies' room today after we didn't hear back from the seller. We heard tonight around eight o'clock and I haven't been able to sit still since.

It's going to be amazing. And the best part of all - NO BEIGE.