Womb Watch - The Beginning

I'd love to know how my vagina become the center of attention in my house. Everyone, it appears, is completely obsessed with it.

I've never made a secret of the fact that I want children and that my period sucks. But in order to have children I need to get a period, which I haven't had since February. At first I was concerned the progesterone wasn't working. Oh, it's working. I have been having a full out screaming it sucks awful bad period with a nasty set of cramps to match. So far I'm on day three of it and I want someone to pay for this.

Sunday I start the Clomid.

This has been a somewhat humiliating process because I made the mistake of discussing this with my mother and she's obsessed with it. Not to mention that every day after I started the progesterone someone would inevitably ask me if I had gotten my period yet. Everyone has been eagerly anticipating and excited for me to bleed. It is beyond creepy that this many people are that interested in my menstrual cycle.

So in another month and a half or so I'll know. I'll either be knocked up or drunk. I'd prefer to be pregnant so I don't have to keep doing this every month (hormones blow!). And I know if I get my period in a month I will drown myself in alcohol. There won't be any other option.

Other goings on that have made this stressful? No heat and no hot water for the last 24-48 hours because a motor kicked on our furnace. Yesterday Omar called the oil company because we had no hot water. We got home from dinner out last night and discovered that no only did we still not have hot water, we didn't have heat. And the oil company didn't pick up the emergency line and it was actually below freezing last night. Ever shower in an ice cold house with ice cold water? Sucks.

Sucks almost as much as everyone waiting for you to bleed.

Foul Mood

I am in a seriously, seriously foul mood tonight.

They put me back on the phones this week because they were expecting high call volumes, which totally and utterly fucked my team because with the high call volumes we also had more work. So now my team is screwed because they decided their call volumes were more important than my work.

The gyno put me on progesterone (sp?) to induce a period, since they've decided I have polycystic ovaries. He said the hormone would start my period and on day 5 of the cycle to start the Clomid they're putting me on. The hormone has made me cranky (that's kind of putting it mildly; I've been a raging bitch since I walked in the door tonight. Part of that has to do with the stuff at work; I hate the phones with the passion of a thousand suns) and I'm so tired of everyone asking me if I have my period yet. I'm also tired. I leave my house at six-thirty am every morning and I'm lucky if I'm home by quarter of seven. I also have been doing more than my fair share of the cooking lately, so I don't even sit down for dinner until almost eight most nights.

Plus, Omar's dad has lung cancer, which has been very stressful. His parents are a little secretive about some things and this of course is one of them. It's been hard on Omar, which in turn makes it hard on me. I feel so badly for him because he's kind of lost about it. His parents haven't asked him for anything so he doesn't feel useful. And he so very much wants to be useful during this time. His dad is having exploratory surgery tomorrow to see if the tumor can be removed without chemo or radiation. So it was not a good night for me to be cranky, but cranky I am and I can't help it.

I just want to be left alone sometimes and there is no privacy in this house lately. None whatsoever. Plus, my house is a mess with boxes and not enough furniture and every time I bring it up to Omar he blows me off, which is part of what pissed me off tonight. Plus, I asked him to do something for me at home tonight when I got home and he ignored me to look for something that he could have looked for later. It just ticked me off.

Normally, he's thoughtful about helping me when I ask, but tonight he just ignored me and since I was cranky already it irritated me even more.

I am in a complete and total foul mood and I can't fucking help myself.

Maybe I'm Old

So I went to the movies on Friday night with Baby Sis and Omar and felt about a hundred and two. First, there was the teenage girl named "Precious" who stuck her hand in front of my face at the box office. When I made a comment (something the line of "do you mind?") she threatened me and then proceeded to follow me into the ladies' room in order to intimidate me. I'm serious about her name - that was what all the little douchebag friends she was with called her. She was also about fifteen and half my size. They continued to talk about what a bitch I was the whole time I was peeing and about how she was going to kick my ass, etc, etc. However, I stepped out of the stall, washed my hands and walked past her without any interaction.

Then, we get into the theater. We went to see Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist so I expected teenagers. I did not expect cell phones through the whole movie and constant texting. It made me very cranky.

Is it just me or are teenagers nowadays way more obnoxious than my friends and I ever were? They were awful. What kind of mannerless bitch shoves her arm in front of someone's face? What kind of thoughtless brat continues to text and squeal during a movie when the person she's texting is sitting four seats down from her.

Whatever. All I know is that teenagers suck.

Typical 8th Inning Meltdown

Way to go, Paul Byrd. Instead of being slightly within reach (a 5-1 deficit is not insurmountable), now I want to go drown myself in alcohol while you pull a Timlin and kill my dreams. Thanks a lot.

Packing up to move tomorrow and Omar and I are far ahead of where he thinks we were going to be. Of course, he's also pissed at me because I'm sitting on the couch doing this instead of packing, but all my clothes are in a box, all my jewelry and makeup is packed, I finished the kitchen hours ago. I refuse to shred documents tonight (too loud) and everything else I need to pack is stuff I also need for tomorrow (shampoo, soap, deodorant, etc). I won't let him unhook the computer until tomorrow.

Baby Sis's crap is all at the house. Mom's coming over tomorrow to unpack her stuff while she's at school, which will be pretty funny when Baby Sis shows up at the house on Saturday to put her room in order.

This game is over. I want Chuck to start now. God, I hate national announcers who are not Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy. Why the hell do they have to keep talking about how much the Sox miss Manny? They're not losing this game because Manny isn't here. They're losing this game because the Tampa pitchers were pretty good tonight and Lester and Byrd weren't. End of it. I am so sick of "this team misses Manny" crap. He behaved like a spoiled two year old. The whole sign in the dugout about being traded to Green Bay during the Favre thing was beyond disrespectful and I can guarantee you that none of his teammates found it amusing. He was a cancer in that clubhouse and it's better that he's gone. They made it past the Angels without him and they're down two games to one right now. They can still make it the Series without him. Although I hope to God the Phillies crush the Dodgers so I don't have to look at Manny in the national spotlight. Because then it's all about how poorly he behaved and if he had done his job in Boston, things may have turned out differently.

Enough. He's gone and that's all that matters. And truthfully, I think if you asked any player on that team if they'd rather have Jason Bay and his positive attitude and excitement about being in his first post season play and his contributions to this team or Manny and his antics and his amazing bat, they'd tell you straight up they'd take Jason Bay. He's not Manny and he's never going to be, but he's had a solid run here in Boston and I wouldn't be shocked if they kept him in the fall.

Poor Omar looks crushed. He's tired and cranky and the Red Sox losing is just pissing him off.

Settle Down

Lester needs to relax. I realize the Angels are a big scary team this season (and hello, am I the only person who thinks Guerrero looks stoned in his publicity stills??), but he needs to chill. They've kicked the Angels' asses in previous post season games; there is no need to panic. That being said, I'm worried they're not going to make it past the Angels this year.

I took serious joy in the Yankees sucking so badly this year, but I worry that Manny Douchebag may end up there next spring, in which case it will just be a bloodbath at every game. The ugliness will just be horrific. Omar and I were discussing whether or not Tim Wakefield is a starter next year and we decided we wouldn't be surprised if the Sox pursue Derek Lowe as a possible fifth starter next year. He's had a good year in LA and he's become a better pitcher since leaving Boston. Theo's always looking for good talent, but I don't know if he'd look at someone he kicked so long ago.

Who knows? There's a reason why Theo's the GM and I'm not (although if I were, I'd dump Lugo's sorry ass and lock up Jed Lowrie for the starting position next year. Hands down, he is a better player than Lugo. $36 million my ass.).

Come on, Jon! Settle down, take a deep breath and kick some ass.