The Raging Bitch Returns
What is it with me lately? Last night I picked a fight with Omar and this morning I had one with Baby Sis while we were waiting for the train together. I swear to God.
I actually have a theory about this and it's not that off the wall. The way I figure it, when I worked in retail, this was the time of year I used to start to get really tense. Holiday hiring was usually awful and we were starting to get pressure on visuals and that sort of thing. Plus, you're gearing up for year end and you have to make up all the sales dollars you'd lost during the "regular" part of the year (there is no "regular" part of the year in retail, every season has its own hell). I truly think my internal clock remembers what time of year it is and how tense and uptight I used to be from now until February and it's manifesting itself even years later. It's a more complicated explanation than "my doctor put me on mild fertility drugs and now I'm fucked up" but I think it's also true. This was the time of year I used to hate most, going into holiday season.
Anyway, I'm trying to keep my shit together because work has suddenly gone mad. I think the director of my division has finally had it with the call center borrowing me and my teammates because we've been told we're off limits to the call center at least until January. My team just took on two huge projects, one of which absolutely positively no buts about it must be completed by year end (which means it probably won't get done til February because we're working on both projects on our own time since we still have our regular every day work to do). I stayed assigned to the GMWB Reset Projection (such a bitch but it's at least predictable. I know exactly what needs to be done, what fits the criteria, and how to write the adjustment up), but four other people from my team were moved from GMWB to the Death Benefit ReReg project and that's a whole other thing. Those adjustments can take days to process due to the fact you have to build a whole contract off it. I'm so relieved that one's not mine. The GMWB project is complicated enough. My deadline is technically year end, but that's only because of the tax implications if we go over it. The DB ReReg project has other issues that make it imperative it be completed before year end.
So yet another Saturday I will be spending at my desk. Making fantastic overtime, yes, buying new furniture, no. Plus, Eva's coming down from Maine Saturday night to hang out. Which means I have to figure out how to work the futon in the guest room.
Unpacked most of the boxes of books this weekend and it was like finding old friends. It's pathetic to be that excited about finding a book you haven't read in over six months because it's been packed in a box. I swear, I could start my own lending library with all the books I've got here.
Omar is watching his stupid fighting show downstairs and Baby Sis is procrastinating a paper in her bedroom. I'm supposed to be working on my NaNoWriMo piece, but I'm easily distracted by shiny objects. Like writing this instead.
While I was unpacking my books, I found my journal from high school/college, which details the beginnings of my relationship with Omar. Good Lord, was I swoony over that boy. Still am, if you want to be honest about it. As I was reading some of the entries, I was remembering some of the things I was writing about and I can't believe how long it's been since I scribbled all those things down to paper. If someone had told me that girl in that journal would turn out to be me, I would have laughed and laughed because me? I'm boring. Certainly not what that girl thought she'd be. But on other hand, I don't think that girl turned out so badly. So whatever, younger me. Maybe I'm not exciting like you thought I was going to be, but I sure as hell won't complain about where I ended up. I married Omar, after all, and we have a pretty good life.
Except for these goddamn mood swings.
I actually have a theory about this and it's not that off the wall. The way I figure it, when I worked in retail, this was the time of year I used to start to get really tense. Holiday hiring was usually awful and we were starting to get pressure on visuals and that sort of thing. Plus, you're gearing up for year end and you have to make up all the sales dollars you'd lost during the "regular" part of the year (there is no "regular" part of the year in retail, every season has its own hell). I truly think my internal clock remembers what time of year it is and how tense and uptight I used to be from now until February and it's manifesting itself even years later. It's a more complicated explanation than "my doctor put me on mild fertility drugs and now I'm fucked up" but I think it's also true. This was the time of year I used to hate most, going into holiday season.
Anyway, I'm trying to keep my shit together because work has suddenly gone mad. I think the director of my division has finally had it with the call center borrowing me and my teammates because we've been told we're off limits to the call center at least until January. My team just took on two huge projects, one of which absolutely positively no buts about it must be completed by year end (which means it probably won't get done til February because we're working on both projects on our own time since we still have our regular every day work to do). I stayed assigned to the GMWB Reset Projection (such a bitch but it's at least predictable. I know exactly what needs to be done, what fits the criteria, and how to write the adjustment up), but four other people from my team were moved from GMWB to the Death Benefit ReReg project and that's a whole other thing. Those adjustments can take days to process due to the fact you have to build a whole contract off it. I'm so relieved that one's not mine. The GMWB project is complicated enough. My deadline is technically year end, but that's only because of the tax implications if we go over it. The DB ReReg project has other issues that make it imperative it be completed before year end.
So yet another Saturday I will be spending at my desk. Making fantastic overtime, yes, buying new furniture, no. Plus, Eva's coming down from Maine Saturday night to hang out. Which means I have to figure out how to work the futon in the guest room.
Unpacked most of the boxes of books this weekend and it was like finding old friends. It's pathetic to be that excited about finding a book you haven't read in over six months because it's been packed in a box. I swear, I could start my own lending library with all the books I've got here.
Omar is watching his stupid fighting show downstairs and Baby Sis is procrastinating a paper in her bedroom. I'm supposed to be working on my NaNoWriMo piece, but I'm easily distracted by shiny objects. Like writing this instead.
While I was unpacking my books, I found my journal from high school/college, which details the beginnings of my relationship with Omar. Good Lord, was I swoony over that boy. Still am, if you want to be honest about it. As I was reading some of the entries, I was remembering some of the things I was writing about and I can't believe how long it's been since I scribbled all those things down to paper. If someone had told me that girl in that journal would turn out to be me, I would have laughed and laughed because me? I'm boring. Certainly not what that girl thought she'd be. But on other hand, I don't think that girl turned out so badly. So whatever, younger me. Maybe I'm not exciting like you thought I was going to be, but I sure as hell won't complain about where I ended up. I married Omar, after all, and we have a pretty good life.
Except for these goddamn mood swings.
posted by Lucy Starr @ 9:31 PM
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