Dear JJ Abrams Part Deux

Dear JJ Abrams,

You have ruined the months of June through September for me with your cliffhangers. Especially the Alias one (hi, I called that Walt was the child the "others" were looking for on Lost - totally called it). Vaughn is not Vaughn?

You, JJ Abrams, had better not ruin Vaughn for me. Or I will find you and ruin you. I do not watch Alias because I love Jennifer Garner. I, in fact, do not understand a lot of things about Jennifer Garner (mainly how she could break up with someone as scorching as Michael Vartan and, after watching him on stuff like Celebrity Poker Showdown, as endearingly dorky as he is, too [come on, he seems a little dorky, but in that totally cute adorable HOT sense] for someone like Ben Affleck. Gigli? Ben, you're breaking my heart and if you fuck with Gone Baby Gone in any way that I find objectionable I will bring down the wrath of God on you... Where was I?). I watch Alias for the entertainment value, but I also watch because Michael Vartan is something else. I love Vaughn. Vaughn is in many ways the perfect man (although Omar sometimes says that no man would do that much stuff for a woman for as little sex as Vaughn appears to get, but Omar [cover your eyes here, Baby Sis] tends to work better when he's being rewarded). And JJ if you screw that up for me, I will HURT you.

Are we clear?

Love, Lucy

PS - Nadia still sucks. Get rid of her.